I’ve been really distracted lately, and haven’t been able to focus on anything, including reading or blogging. Let me try to explain. I didn’t get the librarian position I recently interviewed for, I’m guessing because they wanted someone with more experience. Again, I’m stuck in the Catch-22 situation of not being able to get any additional experience because no one will hire me (which really sucks). I’m gonna try not to dwell on that too much. Apparently I “interviewed very well and should keep trying to apply for jobs with them.” This was my 6th interview with this organization, and I am getting a bit frustrated. Just have to keep applying for jobs, the same way I’ve been doing for the past 8 months. Finances are rearing their ugly head at us, with a bunch of major bills all due at once and us not being able to cover them. So that is stressing me out, in addition to the stuff listed in the following paragraph.
My toddler has been acting out. Part of it, I know, is normal and the rest I don’t know what to do. Usually it’s just because he wants attention and wants me in the room with him. Or he’s trying to be more independent and wants to do things for himself. The other day he just started a 20 minute screaming tantrum, while I was in the room with him. He was thrashing all over the floor and I was afraid he was going to hurt himself, so I moved him to the crib. I just felt so helpless because I couldn’t help him and he didn’t want me to touch him to comfort him. It’s time like this that I really miss my maternal grandmother. She passed away the day before Thanksgiving 2011. I would usually call her up to talk about these sorts of things but I can’t do that anymore and it makes me miss her more. She never got to meet my son, her 2nd great-grandchild. Plus I keep seeing all these things about Alzheimers (which she had) that make me cry. Like there is this cool charity that collects used MP3 players and puts personalized playlists on for senior citizens in nursing homes. The video on their homepage made me cry because I wondered if it would’ve helped her when the memory loss got really bad. Even now, I’m trying not to tear up. When she passed away, I was on anti-depressants for post-partum depression and though I was very sad because we were very close, I couldn’t grieve properly because the pills made me numb. Yesterday, my cousin posted that her mother passed away. She was my dad’s sister and not that much older than him. Even though we were not close, it made me really sad because it reminded me of my grandmother, then it made me think of my dad.
So not to totally depress everyone, so I’ll include some happy things I found today. As most of you know, at heart I am a Youth Services Librarian. I do love the Harry Potter series, so when I saw this article, I knew I wanted to share it. As anyone who frequents this blog knows, I love Neil Gaiman! He is one of my favorite writers. So when I saw this write-up about his latest children’s book, Chu’s Day, I had to share because the illustrations are precious and the story looks funny.